Turning 42 years old this year was bittersweet to me, because although I had hoped to be married with children by now, I was getting ready to open a new chapter in my book of life as a single & satisfied woman in a new city. I have to admit that I have been in this position many times, but this time it was different, because I was moving back to the place I left 16 years ago.
I moved out to the California when I was 24 years because I had dreams of becoming a big star, living by the ocean and plus I wanted to get out of Illinois, I felt that any place would be better than living where I was at the moment. I eventually saved a little money to buy a oneway ticket to Los Angeles, so I packed one suitcase and headed out to Hollywood with only $100 and low self-esteem.
My mother tried to talk me into waiting a few months and being better prepared for this new chapter in my life but I didn’t listen. She also wanted me to work on some of my personal issues and frequently said, “remember you are taking YOU, everywhere you go…you have to learn to be happy where you are or nothing will change when you go somewhere new.” Well I wasn’t having it any other way, so off to the City of Angels I went!
I stayed with one of my friends for a few months and slept on her couch until I moved into my first apartment in West LA. Before moving there I was already working as a hostess in two restaurants in Beverly Hills so I found a place close, because I didn’t have a car and had to take the city bus. After a couple of months passed I looked over my life and thought everything was good. I really felt my mother didn’t know what she was talking about because I did a little extra work on TV here and there, had my first place and was working in restaurants in the 90210 area code.
But one day I sat in my apartment and cried all day…depression set in, I was lonely, not booking any acting jobs and I started having problems paying my bills. I couldn’t dig myself out of this hole of sadness and despair so before I knew it, I found myself buying a one way ticket back to Illinois, vowing to never return to LA again.
Over the next 16 years I became a flight attendant for United, a product presenter for Cadillac a voice-over artist, host & blogger and moved to New York, Florida and Arizona still searching for myself only to return back to the Midwest. Then out of the blue my mother asked me if I was finished running from myself, running from life, and that’s when I started taking the steps to finally become happy where I was at and I embraced the place I was in at that moment.
After traveling back and forth to LA over the years and finally becoming stable and happy with my life, I stopped looking at my first move to LA as a failure but a learning experience. And after preparation, many visits and a better attitude, this year I finally moved back out to LA…by the beach! On my daily walk I often think about the road I traveled to get here and as I watch the waves and the most beautiful sunsets I’ve ever seen I often reflect about starting out and starting over and the journey I went on to find…Me!
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Disclosure: Compensation was provided by State Farm via Mode Media. The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not indicative of the opinions or positions of State Farm.